You're Wrong About Everyone - Psychological Fact Explaining Human Behavior - Projection - FutureIQ

10,470 views Wait, is this logic right? • Aug 16, 2024

Slog Reference: Projection: People Model the World on Themselves

Description

Why does everyone behave the same way as you do? Maybe because you project yourself on everyone. This is a well-studied phenomenon called projection, and we're going deep into the psychological phenomenon with many examples and case studies. Let's understand what it is, how it works, and how it affects your daily life, along with what you can do about it in this episode of FutureIQ.

Hope you enjoyed FutureIQ by Navin Kabra and Shrikant Joshi. Do hit us up on Twitter:
@ngkabra http://twitter.com/ngkabra
@shrikant https://twitter.com/shrikant

Listen to it on the podcast provider of your choice: https://tapthe.link/FutureIQRSS
Watch other episodes of The FutureIQ podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAppTB0r5_TaYueZ0adD42Wiw5X-wTE4v

More videos for you:
There are only 2 Sexes: https://youtu.be/ZbUNiISwPbQ
You're Wrong About How Others Think: https://youtu.be/Pwh90BkWRt8
Dunbar numbers: https://youtu.be/ekAtODyfkyw
Group conformism: https://youtu.be/_XhIECCt_P8
Prisoner's dilemma: https://youtu.be/y9kOyRu6FGU

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
00:45 Social projection
03:55 Personal Examples
05:05 Social examples
06:00 Main character syndrome
06:26 Problems
08:04 Projection in relationships
09:18 Projections in parenting
12:14 Projections in politics
16:33 Fundamental attribution error
19:11 Summary

Sources:
Cheaters on their partners: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/pere.12552
Bosses and assumptions: https://x.com/Mind_Essentials/status/1674138360829591553
Self stereotyping: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-stereotyping
Projection in voting: https://www.jstor.org/stable/3791628
Social projection: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_projection
Psychological projection: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection
False consensus effect: https://www.bulidomics.com/w/images/d/d8/4705-Ross-et-al-False-Consensus-Effect.pdf

#futureiq #psychology #psychologyfacts

Related Slog Matches

Projection: People Model the World on Themselves

Date Proximity

55.00

Transcript

- you believe that others think like you but this is not always true and that causes problems in your life your bosses have the same defect and that causes problems at work your political leaders have the same defect and that causes problems at National level and this affects us in all spheres of life okay social sociopolitical personal intimate professional everything right so we will look at each one of them in turn so you understand this serious problem and the more you understand it the better you will be able to deal with it okay that that basically covers almost my entire life yes yes that's why this is so important although it is something you probably haven't heard of this concept

0m 46s is called projection let's start with social projection okay okay the basic point there is that to a thief everyone seems to be a thief hold on this sounds better in Hindi absolutely and although this is like a funny proverb but in reality it is true there is lots and lots of psychological research showing this right let us take a very simple example of one specific research okay so subjects in this research were given a situation okay they were told that they are driving and they made an actual mistake and they were stopped by a traffic cop and they were given a traffic ticket okay okay now in the US where this research happened you don't pay the ticket

1m 34s immediately right you take the ticket you go home you can pay for it or if you choose you can contest it in court by appearing at a specific date correct all right fine now you know that you actually made that mistake so you should be paying that fine but when you see the ticket that was written out by the cop you notice that he made some basic mistakes in that ticket yeah putting in the wrong section or whatever something right now you have a choice right you could go to court and contest it and you will probably win even though youve actually made that mistake then the subjects are asked these two questions one what would you do would you pay the

2m 19s ticket or would you contest it okay and second is what do you think most other people will do I would definitely pay the ticket because I made a mistake have to pay for it and other people should also or would also I think pay for the ticket because they made a mistake they would pay for it correct the point is that when you analyze the research you see that the people who would pay the ticket also think that most other people will pay the ticket whereas the people who say they will contest it also think that most other people will contest it oh right both people are wrong because if the level of paying the ticket is

3m 02s this much right the people who will pay the ticket think it is here and the people who say they will not be the ticket think it is here right both sets of people are projecting which is that they assume that other people are like them right oh okay and this generalizes right basically ethical people think that sure there are some in ethical people but most people are ethical like me yeah but in ethical people think sure there are some s Mahatma types out there but most people are like me they would take similar decisions so research shows similar results for almost all beliefs and behaviors okay let me go through examples and I want you to think and

3m 50s notice that you are probably doing the same thing in your life okay so at a personal level people who are Party goers and love going to a party think that everyone else wants to party whereas people who are shy don't understand these party goers but think they are a small fraction and that most others are like them and would like to just be quiet right absolutely agreed people who go to restaurants with nice music love going to restaurants like that and don't understand why somebody would go to a quiet restaurant whereas people who love quiet restaurants don't understand why somebody would go to these loud Di rests right okay people who get angry very quickly think yeah

4m 35s that's normal everyone does that yeah and probably everyone should do that you know you should get angry over certain things yeah people who have emotional needs who tend to get depressed think that everyone else will be like this like them right and research shows this specifically people who think of dying a lot think that lots of other people also think of dying a lot even mean people don't think of dying yes so this also happens at a social level right people who think TV shows are important yeah uh right soap operas are important people who love a particular sport they think everyone loves that sport people who think a particular religion is very important or a certain practices are

5m 21s important yeah overestimate how many people believe in that same thing all right people who gossip think that other people are goping about them okay right and this causes various problems related to self-image insecurity anxiety and goes all the way to depression just because you don't realize that most people are not like you and they're not spending their time gossiping this episode is proving to be an introspection into my own life that I did not want but I'm getting nonetheless very very interesting because all of the things that you've mentioned also correlate to something that I've heard a lot called as the main character syndrome what I've realized is every single one of us has this main character

6m 08s syndrome which is essentially us projecting our thoughts beliefs expectations onto the rest of the world and that happens and the thing I want to get across is that this causes subtle problems that we don't realize we are causing ourselves by misunderstanding right so for example in a professional setting competitive people think everybody is competitive and so they all the time they are like in fighting mode and they end up causing fights even if the other person was not competitive right people who think it is okay to waste time at work right that sitting in an office doing nothing is completely normal think that everyone else does that listen sometimes you finish work within an hour and you have S hours left

6m 57s to do nothing and you over estimate how many people are in the same category right okay fine that I and by the way although I'm just stating these as opinions but all each one of these lines there is research proving that these kind of overestimations are happening right uh sociopolitical right this is now again research is us specific but I'm sure it applies to India right people who think that there should be a woman chief justice think that most other people agree with them people who think that poverty will be reduced in the next 20 years overestimate how many other people think like them this also happens in close relationships right like your inner circle of five people uh that we

7m 45s talked about in the number but also like your actual relationship your spouse or your long-term relationship right so for example cheaters are more likely to suspect their partners of cheating oh even when the partners are not cheating at all cheaters are projecting yes so this gets more tricky than that okay let me take a fictional example Rahul and kak Kiran okay okay Rahul gets angry and is jealous okay if Kiran doesn't get angry and jealous what does Rahul think Rahul assumes that because he loves Kiran so much that's why he's getting angry and jealous right and when Kiran doesn't get angry and jealous Rahul assumes doesn't love him as much I that's in fact uh also somewhat the

8m 34s premise of the movie if you think about it so Rahul getting angry and jealous and then expecting Kiran to get angry and jealous is him projecting his insecurities about their love or their relationship exactly let's take another uh possibility here right let's say Rahul cheats and his thing is that to hide his cheating he's extra sweet to Kiran okay all right so now if Kiran is sweet to Rahul just because she's a sweet person what will Rahul think he assumes that she just cheated ah this is projection and it can seriously wreck relationships Until you realize this is what is going on and you talk it out right absolutely another type of close relationship is parents who project

9m 23s their own goals upon their children right you can just say Indian parents Indian parents right because they wanted to do XY Z and couldn't they assume that their children want to do the same thing and will be happy doing that in their life the important point to note here is that often they don't realize they're doing this they will very clearly state that I am only thinking about the child's best interest I am not at all putting myself in the equation this is something that happens with projection it happens so automatically you don't realize you're doing it yeah and you have to consciously break this cycle is what I've realized in recent times that you have to actively think about how you

10m 07s are very subtly unconsciously subconsciously becoming a part of the cycle every time you express a desire for your kid to do something yeah it's a very very dangerous and very difficult situation and I I commend all parents out there especially naven because he's done a brilliant job with his kids as I can tell you for for sure and I'm trying to learn from him as you can see so not just personal relationships this also happens at work and there is an additional problem here okay that I want to illustrate with a simple example okay a boss who is unethical assumes that employees are unethical so she starts treating the employees in a certain way yeah right

10m 56s now at some point the employees themselves see oh my God this is like you know why am I being treated like this and if I'm being treated like this might as well get the advantage of all of that right so then they start actually behaving in unethical ways and then it escalates like you said right yeah the point is What's Happening Here is that this relationship is getting stuck in a defect defect Loop of a prisoner's dilemma right I'm not going to explain in detail here check out our episode on prisoners uh dilemma but the point is that when you project especially some of your bad attributes on someone else that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy okay there is

11m 41s actual research showing that when a cheating partner suspects their partner of cheating the other person at some point actually goes ahead and cheats because you know the relationship has reached that level oh okay interesting I wonder how this will apply to to parents and kids and their projections on kids it's a very interesting thing a thought experiment for you to think about yeah while we continue with this episode so more generally do this thought experiment in every situation that you can think about and you will find interesting things to learn so in politics right one of the things that happens every once in a while is say for example there is like a very strong

12m 24s anti-gay rights Crusader and then at some point you find out that he was himself gay right yeah we've seen that happen multiple times in multiple places a strong anti-drug leader turns out to be someone who is abusing uh drugs right uh so because of such projections a lot of incorrect policies get enacted right the reverse is also true voters also do projection okay so there is research showing the following okay let's say that there is a voter mhm and he loves a particular party so he wants to vote for that party okay then Chernobyl happens okay I wasn't talking about today's voter and today's Party by the way I'm just describing specific one particular research paper but the thing is

13m 18s applicable even today okay yeah every time naven gives an example you can best believe that that example has been condensed from an actual research paper nothing that we talk on this channel is randomly thought of examples everything has its root in specific science and specific research the more interesting thing to point out is that I was talking about chernobil and you guys assumed I was talking about the BJP okay that's projection that's projection so anyway when Chernobyl happens suddenly some voters get strongly anti-nuclear power right okay and some voters say no no no this was a oneoff and they continue to be pro- nuclear okay H so now voters are split between anti and pro nuclear

14m 02s correct of the same party yeah now at some point the party comes out with a stuns saying we are pro- nuclear or we are anti okay the voter had already decided on a stance beforehand correct now if the party came out with the same stance everything is good voter continues voting for favorite party but if the party stance is opposite of what the voter want wanted now what happens okay yeah here is what the research showed this is interesting because now the voter is in a very weird state where one of their beliefs doesn't align with one of the party's beliefs correct so what does the water do yeah by the way this is a concept called cognitive

14m 46s dissonance an extremely important concept we will cover it in a future episode but today let's focus on what does the voter do in this situation 38% of the voters M changed their stance on nuclear from Pro to anti or anti to Pro this is a stance that they had already built for themselves after chernobil happened but before their party came out with a stance and as soon as the party came out with the stance they flipped their own stance this is group conformism we have a video on it check it out a very very important powerful force today yes the interesting one related to today's episode is 20 8% of the voters yeah just simply assumed that their party supports

15m 37s their stance and that media is misunderstanding misrepresenting the party they just perceived their party to be supporting their stance this misperception that their party stance is the same as their stance this is projection okay and this is made easier by parties who understand this and hence they will intentionally keep their stances vague they will sometimes have one party leader say something and one party leader say the opposite thing so that voters can continue in their delusion of projection okay you try to look at examples today and you will find enough examples of this happening both the projection and the parties saying both things right so this is another powerful force and I mean you are doing

16m 26s that it is happening to you and part parties are misusing it yeah this actually brings me to another uh uh another thing that we have not very specifically talked about in the past but we probably will at some point called the fundamental attribution error yeah now the fundamental attribution error is we judge ourselves by our intent and others by their actions yeah so here we are not projecting but we are in fact doing the opposite of projecting where we are judging others opposite to what we are doing ourselves yeah how do you reconcile projection with fundamental attribution ER so actually it is not the opposite right fundamental attribution error is saying that uh you know when I lie it is because you know I

17m 14s was in a really difficult situation and something horrible would have happened if I didn't lie so there was a good reason for me to lie and when you lie it is because you're a bad person okay right so in fundamental attribution error what is happening is that you look at bad behavior of other people and you attribute it to bad character traits okay okay keep that in mind and you assume that you don't have bad character traits you your bad behavior is because of circumstances these bad character traits which you have and which you have suppressed successfully in projection you're assuming that most other people have these bad character traits okay M so what is happening here is that you

18m 01s don't realize you have these bad character traits but you think that person has this bad character trait and then later on you use the existence of that bad character trait to explain that person's bad behavior right so so you are invisibly projecting your bad character traits onto the other person you're not acknowledging that projection but you are utilizing that projection when the fundamental attribution error comes up exactly oh right so in your own behavior you hide the bad character trait and you say my bad behavior happened because of circumstances but for others you first project the bad character trait on them and then you ex use that to explain their behavior without thinking about the other

18m 47s person's circumstances human psychology is so weird I fascinating fascinating and the more you are able to push yourself to think consciously about these things the more your relationships will improve not just that but your understanding of the world of your workplace of the politics happening there will also improve right that is why we do these episodes to summarize okay this is not something new okay so let me read two quotes related to this which will drive the point home okay so first one is by Rob Henderson and he says often when people espouse the belief that everyone is a scheming liar mhm or that people can't be trusted they're really telling you something about themselves rather than

19m 38s about everyone else yeah okay projection okay and the consequence of this okay n has said I am not upset that you lied to me I am upset that from now on I cannot believe you ow to repeat when you talk about others you're talking about yourself which means that you can change Yourself by changing how you talk about others and that is a brilliant brilliant takeaway for you to think about while we line up the next episode for you which uh we briefly spoke about the evolution of trust prisoners dilemma check that episode out because that will help you understand projection in a completely different and a completely new light and it will help you become a better person

20m 27s yeah Shri Kant better person naen better Channel future IQ