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Moving Out At 18 & Going To College | Kids Should Leave Home After 12th - Live Away From Parents!!

2,023 views Wait, is this logic right? • Jun 25, 2023
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Slog Reference: Kids Should Leave Home after 12th

Description

Living with family vs living alone, which is better? Should your kids move out of home at 18 or after 12th. Living away from parents is considered quite a struggle in India. This video might help you get to a conclusion whether your kids should leave home and stay from family for education or not.

Hope you enjoyed FutureIQ by Navin Kabra and Shrikant Joshi. Do hit us up on Twitter:
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Watch other episodes of The FutureIQ podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAppTB0r5_TaYueZ0adD42Wiw5X-wTE4v

More videos for you:
Should You Go Abroad for Higher Studies?: https://youtu.be/rL74DXfvYJY
Engineering colleges in India: https://youtu.be/kUgFekrvHrg

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
01:05 College
01:35 Maturity
02:44 Benefits
04:30 Kids getting spoiled
06:08 Finances
06:40 Hygiene
07:53 Girls
09:30 The value
10:40 Problems & solutions
13:20 Where does it not apply?

#futureiq #movingout

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Kids Should Leave Home after 12th

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Transcript

and if you are a parent of such a student then you should learn to let go let your child go because it's no longer a child and I'm using it because it is no longer a child it is a grown-up many parents are afraid of sending their kids away from home after 12 standard to stay in a hostel or on a flat by themselves I think this is a huge mistake it is not only bad for the student academically because they might be giving up opportunities to get into the best college but also for their overall development as independent adults so in this episode we are going to explore this topic in more detail and
answer some frequently answered questions and concerns that people have right and in case you are wondering why we are talking about 12 standard kids and their future and their careers that's because we've been doing a sort of a mini series on kids uh and their career options or their future decisions after 12th for those kids and their parents don't worry we'll get back to regularly scheduled programming but you should still watch this video because just in case you want this information handy at some point in the future you should have it also you never know here there might be someone in 12th that you might want to forward this video too always good to have knowledge Relentless
pursuit of knowledge what was that again Relentless something so in the previous episode we did uh on choosing colleges we mentioned the fact that sometimes parents or students will choose a college that is not the best they could get into yeah just because it happens to be close to home and that's uh convenient the kid will not go outside and get spoiled that is exactly the list of things we are going to talk about right yes um so I think that the greatest increase in maturity and of a person and exposure to how the world Works comes when they start living away from home right I yeah conversely I can tell you that the ones
who never left home make the worst spouses and fairly bad employees because [Laughter] you went there directly it's true people who have never left home or people whose spouses has never left to home then please let us know in the comments if you would like to have this conversation okay okay sorry go on continue I remember that uh you know when I was doing my postgraduate studies right uh some people this is Wisconsin right yeah yeah so a bunch of students joined with me some have come in after a four-year stay in college and somehow come in after a four-year stay at home and you could tell the difference by The Way They Carried themselves the kind of
trouble they got into the kind of things that bothered them whereas the guys from hostel were like chilled nothing everything is under control right so no I do I do agree that living away from home during your formative years using your college Years is definitely definitely something that everybody should do well lots of people don't agree that's what we want to okay right because parents who think well uh let's go through the kinds of uh questions people worry about right yeah so first Justice will the student get spoiled that is the biggest question look as a student that question never occurs to you but as a parent that definitely occurs to you Matlab I am kind of
excited I think parents should stop living in a fantasy land it's a fairy land right the students if by this time if the students are not mature enough they are going to get spoiled even if they're staying at home you have no idea what your child is getting up to as soon as he or she leaves the house okay I have an idea and let me tell you you don't okay definitely has an idea but that's also because he's the cool parent and I can attest to that fact because he's parented me as well kid will get spoiled is is a very common refrain uh for parents and how do you assuage them that kids getting spoiled
is not really a big concern because well see I mean kids getting spoiled can happen even if they're staying at home conversely lots of kids go out and they don't get spoiled what you have to have done until 12th standard is make sure that they understand what is right and what is wrong and that they have uh the ability to resist the back Temptations right most of you will know by 12th whether your kid can resist those Temptation or not and take a little bit of have a little bit of faith in your child right especially mamas across the subcontinent please have some faith in your child yes because mama is one of the first questions that mamas will have
is please let them grow up okay Surfer a little bit in a hostel let them eat horrible food for a little while they will learn to appreciate Mama's food after that point okay it is necessary part of growing up unless you plan to cook for them for the rest of your life right or no you will cook for them and then yeah you took it very seriously I just threw it out there but then here is something to take seriously uh uh which is the matter of finances because uh staying away from home means you have to pay for lodging you have to yeah so that is a valid concern if your finances are such
that this is going to make a big difference then sure go for the option of staying at home it is not that bad but for most people I don't think that is really the decision influence or a deal breaker yeah for most people they're doing it for one of these uh other reasons right like oh the hostels are so dirty Well yeah if uh see it's true the hostels oftentimes are dirty yes old world is like that right I mean but the whole world of course it is yeah the whole world is not dirty is it you know maybe it's kind of an ivory Tower but lots of places in the world are dirty and you have to learn to live
with it a little bit you can you know you clean your room yeah but there is a matter of no it's not just a matter of dirty or cleanliness or hygiene just it's also a matter of Health like I'm thinking what happens actually by keeping them in a clean environment all their life you are making their health worse you are not giving their immune system a chance to develop you are giving them allergies okay let them live like normal people for a while so that they get a normal immune system they get a few normal infections listen don't talk about immune system especially in the wake of the pandemic okay I've had enough of my problems with the immune
system and the way it has constantly have you heard of people dying because the cotton infection in a hostel no that doesn't happen yeah health is fine it's not a problem okay how about this one for for boys probably not so much of a big deal but sending girls to a hostel is something that parents will have problems with I can tell you that if your girl can get up to trouble going to a hostel she's going to get up to trouble staying at home also right that's not something you have control over what you have control over is what you have taught her so far okay you have to learn to trust her at
this point right you are not going to be able to control everything as soon as she leaves the house she is going to do things yeah that's that's a terrifying future for me but uh it should have to be it shouldn't be released it's not about control it's about to worry control and worry are two different things you are allowed to worry as a parent if you analyze you will realize that 90 of your concerns are not about worries then they're about oh this is not what I grew up with so she shouldn't be doing this okay I will have to bring in a psychologist couch here lie down while he basically takes a notepad and writes
on her so what were you saying and I go like but I am worried about my child doing this and that and what not but I do agree it's not not always about the worry aspect of it there is some amount of control that I do want to exert and I'm trying okay I'm trying and I'm learning from the best so I don't have to worry so much about that fine I mean I get I get what you're trying to say but is is there really that much value in living in a hostel or going to a hotel uh yes absolutely but don't trust me right let me quote child psychiatrist Dr bhushan Shukla who said getting all
of your education in one city entire life in one locality with the same bunch of friends is a serious handicap globalization will chew you up spit out the bones and you won't even know it it's happily sipping coffee advice and eating sabudana Vada wake up and run away save your youth save your life two things vaishali is this really famous restaurant in Pune on FC Road where they serve some good coffee and some good sabudana that's as far as I'm going to go with it we are not being endorsed by them although if they want to endorses we are absolutely happy to you know how it goes second thing Dr bhushan if you think this is dramatic
you don't know the half of it this is not dramatic this is Dr bhushan okay so now uh let me try and bring up some valid um how do you put this some valid uh problems with putting people in hostels okay say I live in hiranandani pawai next to which is IIT Mumbai I get into IIT Mumbai you should still go and live in the hostel half of your age well actually I would say 80 of your education happens when you are living by yourself it is not the academics so even if your house is conveniently located you should still stay by yourself okay uh okay now say I am a 12 standard student or other a student was clear
12th standard I'm sitting for counseling engineering counseling and whatnot and the college that I've been allotted is in a terrible City is not really a great college is not really a great branch and these are these are topics that we've discussed in the choosing an engineering College episode that we did a little while ago yeah in such a situation what would you recommend see I am not saying go out of your way to stay by yourself uh right I mean be careful of planty yes sorry sorry continue you are not saying that elasticity okay fine go experience faster okay I am saying get into the best college you can and then if the college involves staying
in a hostel or staying by yourself do that even if that college happens to be conveniently located near your home still get into a hostel or stay by yourself okay that's all okay uh does this apply to people not in stem does this apply to people in arts and science everything this is liberal arts this is advice for life for everything the point is that when you are a child your parents values and how your parents do things it is important for you to know and learn right but by the time you are a teenager it is time for you to get other influences right your parents are excellent people but they do have blind
spots they do have some problems you need to know that that is not the only way to think about lives you need to get other points of view that is one that's true second is that you need to learn compromising you need to learn to deal with roommates who play loud music at night and how to deal with their roommates who don't clean up and you our roommates who are generally loud at night yeah so all of those things are things you need to learn they are going to make you a better human being that's right yeah that makes sense but there must be some situations where this is not applicable I mean so I mean one thing is that most
kids a lot of kids do get homesick the first time they stay away from home as long as that is short-lived that is okay but for some people it is not short-lived it becomes a serious concern in that case maybe you can consider backing away right uh even more important there are some students who might have mental health challenges and staying by themselves might not be ideal ideal for them so with the help of the appropriate professional you should take the decision so you know maybe some people cannot should not stay but that's a very very tiny fraction correct and again we've already said that if it's not a financially affordable for you that's also another situation where you
shouldn't yeah so overall uh if you're a student who has just cleared to else then you should definitely definitely consider staying in a hostel staying in a city away from home so that you can you know learn some amount of Independence is is the summary of this episode I'm uh I can say and if you're a parent of such a student then you should learn to let go let your child go because it's no longer a child and I'm using it because it is no longer a child is a grown up and you have to let it go let it go oh wait no shrikant Naveen and future IQ and easily did that just now